12 Nov, 1992.

A crying baby,
one new mother,
one new father,
one family.

Sleepless nights,
17 years of working hard to provide for me,
17 years of tolerating my nonsense.

So on this day,
I'd really like to thank you Mum and Dad, for giving me the gift of life.
For providing for me, and tolerating all my rubbish,
For not letting me die a few days after I was born,
For caring well for me,
Just... for being awesome parents!

I jogged all the way up to church (through the back way) and walked all the way down, in half an hour! I feel so proud of myself now. ;D

Thanks to those who wished me so early in the morning, and just for remembering my presence! You all are awesome! =)

Yay and I don't have to cancel with the Vics anymore! Din Tai Fung, brace yourself for the Vic3s. ;D
Wednesday=
1. Run-walking the whole of Serangoon Gardens, and then to Yio Chu Kang to get Paint. and then, walking back.
Thanks Mariel for making it less painful.
2. Taking a bus to AMK HUB to buy cookies because the pathetic NTUC here does not have Betty Crockers and Cold Storage priced it $1.40 higher than NTUC.
3. Carrying the 'groceries' back home, heavy heavy.
4. Baking my whole afternoon away. Mixing, Cutting the wrappers, packaging it with string. Thanks for a little help- aunty, Max, Emmy.
5. Feeling sick and terribly shagged after that whole session of baking (5 hours)
6. Sleeping for a while
7. Not going for meeting =( Sorry girls
8. Eating Dinner
9. Throwing up
10. Doing GB stuff
11. Bracing myself for fever on my birthday tomorrow and cancelling with the Vics, again. =(
12. And praying VERY HARD THAT I WILL NOT GET SICK BECAUSE CAMP IS ON FRIDAY. UGH!

So beautiful Wednesday, gone in a flash.

Feeling cold, is it just me?
After having a certain discussion today, I was left feeling rather disgruntled and disturbed. Suddenly, the whole world just seemed upside down. It sparked a rather godless feeling in me, probably how D.H.Lawrence described it in Bohemian London. It felt like death. I never felt this way before, how suddenly, all your beliefs were put into question, and it really felt like God was not present. It was not just the desert, even in the desert, you knew he was there. This time, there was something more, it was like he disappeared from the face of the earth altogether.

It really feels like death. Its like, living without a purpose. Without a meaning.

Mum says not to be affected by what he says. But how can I not be?

The stare, the look, the accusation....

of sounding like a non-believer.

Is this how its supposed to be?

But what is faith?

What is honour?

What is love?

What does it mean to believe?

Whatever you say, I know I'm not dillusional, I know He is present, still, I know He is real.
I'm so shagged now. I wish OP was over quickly. =(

Looks like even after OP is over, I'm still a busy woman.

There's the GB camp,
right after that there's the Batam OCIP trip,
and then planning for and fundraising for the Cambodia OCIP trip,
and then Cambodia OCIP trip.

So many things to do, So little time.

Thank you for always encouraging me.
Been in church the whole day, due to the promotion of the Gift Bearers weekend.

I am so so proud of my two 9-year olds, Adele and Jill, both of you girls rock my world! Your confidence to speak on the pulpit, and your true sincerity when giving a testimony of the Gift Bearers, has earned my highest respect. I would never have had the guts to go up on the pulpit to read, furthermore, to express my feelings for a certain group, even now, I'm still feeling so nervous about my turn to speak for the Gift Bearers on the pulpit in just 2 hours or so. You two are truly my role models! And I just want to remind you, your parents, the Gift Bearers and I are terribly proud of you, and especially God! You have inspired other girls and thus we would have more Gift Bearers soon! I love you girls! And of course, I am very proud of Bel too for having the courage to also speak on the pulpit, not only once, but twice=)
To my girlfriend who is going through a hard time now, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know how terrible you feel now, heartbreaks are never an easy thing to go through, especially so for the final action that you have to carry out. Just know, that you will never be alone. May He always be there to comfort you, through words of wisdom, or comforting and encouraging words from a friend, may He guide you in what to do, and help you focus first on your upcoming exams. Thanks for even thinking of me in this difficult phase, I really appreciate you checking up on how I am through this pathetic blog and with SMSes. =) I really miss you.

To the Vics and Grace, thanks for checking up on how I am. And I'm really sorry.

And behind that computer screen, he would never see the girl crying.
为什么心觉得那么沉重呢?

做事情时, 心不在焉.

我要快乐,
决定改变态度.

因为....
态度决定一切.

还有大多三天...